Care For Those You Lead

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Today’s guest post is from my friend Peter Ferrari. Peter is a counselor for Breath of Life Ministries in Lancaster, PA. He focuses on helping people become more connected in relationships both at home and in the workplace. When not working, Peter enjoys playing music and spending time with his wife and four children.

Of the several jobs that I have, the one I love the most is the one where I get to teach people how to lead. Not how to be in charge, how to lead. My big idea is one I’ve learned from others and goes something like this: I do not believe that leaders can be effective unless they care deeply for, and value greatly, those they lead.

As a follower, here is a thought I’ve had on more than one occasion:

If you don’t care for me, don’t try to lead me because I won’t follow you.

I’m sure a few people have directed a similar thought in my direction. Come to think of it, a few people have said this out loud to me.

I have always been the kind of person who would poke a hornets’ nest with a stick just to see the response. Anyone who knows me, knows that I like to be provocative. I think provocation can be very useful. It causes us to question ourselves, to make us uncomfortable with being comfortable. Provocation can also cause needless pain, damaging relationships. Unfortunately, for a large part of my life I was provocative with little or no regard for others; I didn’t care if my words caused pain in others. I hurt a lot of people.

I grew up with a chip on my shoulder; I was angry at everyone and everything. I came to believe that the world was against me and I had to fight for my place in it. My method of fighting was using sarcasm to bring others down to what I imagined my “level” to be. I can’t tell you how many people I hurt with the bite of my words. The end result was that I became lonely and bitter.

In the early part of my adulthood, two people entered my life who showed me something different. They cared about me in a way that was unrelated to my treatment of them. They endured my provocations and abrasive manner and showed me patience and kindness instead. In essence they showed me how God cares for me. This began to have an impact on me in ways that are hard to describe. In fact, over a period of time, which was way longer than I like to admit, it completely transformed me and the way I relate with other people. What they demonstrated to me was true leadership.

Leaders care more about others than they care about themselves

Leadership is not telling large numbers of other people what to do. Leadership is caring for, valuing and serving others, without thought for cost to self. Because of these two leaders, my life is now about two things: Discovering how God values and cares for me and learning how to do the same for others. The leadership these two people provided for me provoked me to learn how to value others, how to lead.

How do you lead? Do you truly care for those who are under your leadership, or are they just there to make you look good?

Related articles

• Think Bigger Than You (dannybrown.me)
• Pass the Buck (patrickreyes.net)
• How Transparent and Authentic are You? (inklingmedia.net)

Tagged as: guest post, Leadership, Peter Ferrari